The holy relationship is the expression of the holy instant in living in
this world. Like everything about salvation, the holy instant is a
practical device, witnessed to by its results. The holy instant NEVER
fails. The experience of it is ALWAYS felt. Yet without expression, it is
not REMEMBERED. The holy relationship is a constant reminder of the
experience in which the relationship became what it is. And as the
unholy relationship is a continuing hymn of hate in praise of ITS maker,
so is the holy relationship a happy song of praise to the Redeemer of
relationships.

The holy relationship, a major step toward the perception of the real
world, is learned. It is the old, unholy relationship, transformed and
seen anew. The holy relationship is a phenomenal teaching
accomplishment. In all its aspects, as it begins, develops and becomes
accomplished, it represents the REVERSAL of the unholy relationship. Be
comforted in this; the only difficult phase is the beginning. For here,
the goal of the relationship is abruptly shifted to the exact opposite
of what it was. This is the first result of offering the relationship to
the Holy Spirit, to use for HIS purposes.

This invitation is accepted immediately, and the Holy Spirit wastes no
time in introducing the practical results of asking Him to enter. AT
ONCE His goal replaces yours. This is accomplished very rapidly, but it
makes the relationship seem disturbed, disjunctive and even quite
distressing. The reason is quite clear. For the relationship as it IS is
out of line with its own goal, and clearly unsuited to the purpose which
has been accepted for it. In its unholy condition, YOUR goal was all
that seemed to give it meaning. Now it seems to make no sense. Many
relationships have been broken off at this point, and the pursuit of the
old goal re-established in another relationship. For once the unholy
relationship has ACCEPTED the goal of holiness, it can never again be
what it was.

The temptation of the ego becomes extremely intense with this shift in
goals. For the relationship has not, as yet, been changed sufficiently
to make its former goal completely without attraction, and its structure
is “threatened” by the recognition of its inappropriateness for meeting
its new purpose. The conflict between the goal and the structure of the
relationship is so apparent that they CANNOT co-exist. Yet now, the goal
will NOT be changed. Set firmly in the unholy relationship, there IS no
course except to CHANGE the relationship to fit the goal. Until this
happy solution is
seen and accepted as the ONLY way out of the conflict, the relationship
seems to be severely strained.

It would not be kinder to shift the goal more slowly, for the contrast
would be obscured, and the ego given time to re-interpret each slow step
according to its liking. Only a radical shift in purpose could induce a
complete change of mind about what the whole relationship is FOR. As
this change develops and is finally accomplished, it grows increasingly
beneficent and joyous. But at the beginning, the situation is
experienced as very precarious. A relationship, undertaken by two
individuals for their unholy purposes, suddenly has HOLINESS for its
goal. As these two contemplate their relationship from the point of view
of this new purpose, they are inevitably appalled. Their perception of
the relationship may even become quite disorganized. And yet, the former
organization of their perception no longer serves the purpose they have
agreed to meet.

This is the time for FAITH. You LET this goal be set for you. That was an
act of faith. Do not abandon faith, now that the rewards of faith are
being introduced. If you believed the Holy Spirit was there to ACCEPT
the relationship, why would you now not still believe that He is there
to purify what He has taken under His guidance? Have faith in each other
in what but SEEMS to be a trying time. The goal IS set. And your
relationship has sanity as its purpose. For now you find yourselves in
an insane relationship, RECOGNIZED as such in the light of its goal.

Now the ego counsels thus; substitute for this ANOTHER relationship to
which your former goal was quite appropriate. You can escape from your
distress only by getting rid of each other. You need not part entirely if
you choose not to do so. But you must exclude major areas of fantasy
from each other, to save your sanity. Hear not this now! Have faith in
Him Who answered you. He heard. Has He not been very explicit in His
answer? You are not now wholly insane. Can you DENY that He has given
you a most explicit statement? Now He asks for faith a little longer,
even in bewilderment. For this will go, and you will see the
justification for your faith emerge, to bring you shining conviction.
Abandon Him not now, nor each other. This relationship HAS BEEN reborn
as holy.

Accept with gladness what you do not understand, and let it be explained
to you as you perceive its purpose work in it to MAKE it holy. You will
find many opportunities to blame each other for the “failure” of your
relationship, for it will seem, at times, to have NO purpose. A sense of
aimlessness will come to haunt you, and to remind you of all the ways
you once sought for satisfaction, and thought you found it. Forget not
now the misery you REALLY found, and do not now breathe life into your
failing egos. For your relationship has NOT been disrupted. It has been
SAVED.

You are very new in the ways of salvation, and think you have lost your
way. YOUR way IS lost, but think not this is LOSS. In your newness,
remember that you have started again, TOGETHER. And take each other’s
hand, to walk together along a road far more familiar than you now
believe. Is it not certain that you will remember a goal unchanged
throughout eternity? For you have chosen but the goal of God, from which
your true intent was NEVER absent.

Throughout the Sonship is the song of freedom heard, in joyous echo of
your choice. You have joined with many in the holy instant, and they have
joined with you. Think not your choice will leave you comfortless, for
God Himself has blessed your holy relationship. Join in His blessing,
and withhold not yours upon it. For all it needs now is your blessing,
that you may see that in it rests salvation. Condemn salvation not, for
it HAS come to you. And welcome it together, for it has come to JOIN you
together in a relationship in which all the Sonship is together blessed.

You undertook, together, to invite the Holy Spirit into your
relationship. He could not have entered otherwise. Although you may have
made many mistakes since then, you have also made enormous efforts to
help Him do His work. And He has not been lacking in appreciation for
all you have done for Him. Nor does He see the mistakes at all. Have you
been similarly grateful to each other? Have you consistently appreciated
the good efforts, and overlooked mistakes? Or has your appreciation
flickered and grown dim in what seemed to be the light of the mistakes?
You are now entering upon a campaign to blame each other for the
discomfort of the situation in which you find yourselves. And by this
lack of thanks
and gratitude, you make yourselves unable to EXPRESS the holy instant,
and thus you lose sight of it.

The experience of an instant, however compelling it may be, is easily
forgotten if you allow time to close over it. It must be kept shining
and gracious in your awareness of time, but not concealed within it. The
instant remains. But where are YOU? To give thanks to each other is to
appreciate the holy instant, and thus enable its results to be accepted
and SHARED. To ATTACK each other is not to lose the instant, but to make
it powerless in its EFFECTS. You HAVE received the holy instant, but you
have established a condition in which you cannot USE it. As a result,
you do not realize that it is with you still. And by cutting yourself
off from its expression, you have denied yourself its benefit. You
reinforce this every time you attack each other, for the attack must
blind you to YOURSELF. And it is impossible to deny yourself, and
recognize what has been given and received by you.

You stand together in the holy presence of truth itself. Here is the
goal, together WITH you. Think you not the goal itself will gladly
arrange the means for its accomplishment? It is just this same
discrepancy between the purpose that has been accepted and the means as
they stand now which seems to make you suffer, but which makes Heaven
glad. If Heaven were OUTSIDE you, you could not share in its gladness.
Yet because it is within, the gladness, too, is yours. You ARE joined in
purpose, but remain still separate and divided on the means.

Yet the goal is fixed, firm and unalterable, and the means will surely
fall in place BECAUSE the goal is sure. And you will share the gladness
of the Sonship that it is so. As you begin to recognize and accept the
gifts you have so freely given to each other, you will also accept the
effects of the holy instant, and use them to correct all your mistakes
and free you from their results. And learning this, you will have also
learned how to release ALL the Sonship, and offer it in gladness and
thanksgiving to Him Who gave you YOUR release, and Who would extend it
THROUGH you.